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  • Writer's pictureRosie Nicholas

Female Friendships and the Mother Connection

Being around other mums as a mother is priceless. Something magical happens when you get in a room with other mums and share openly how you're coping (or not coping) in motherhood. Every woman has a story to tell. Every story is equally valid and unique, and yet the destination we arrive at (and all those stops along the way) seem to shape us all in familiar ways.

Raising a two year old in the bustle of a busy city, I never feel like I see my female friends enough. Throw in different timezones, geographical boundaries, the small matters of holding down a relationship and your own personal wellbeing on top of caring for a little one, and friendships are the first to feel the squeeze. But we should prioritise them, because the energy gained from spending time with other women, especially those with the shared experience of motherhood (from emotional baggage and physical exhaustion to everything in-between) is quite remarkable.

But it's not just spending time with friends that does the trick. Bonding with mothers you've never met before, over the shared highs and lows of motherhood, is empowering and uplifting. It builds genuine connection; even if only fleeting or for a season. I was in this position recently. Amongst strangers but united through motherhood (and a coffee shop meet-up), we bared our scars. We laughed, we shared; we empathised, we therapised. How amazing that we have the capacity to do that? We can fill a space with our pain and darkest maternal thoughts one moment, without judgement or disregard, and then offer support and solidarity the next.

If you're feeling isolated and alone in motherhood, regardless of how long you've worn the title 'Mum', know that even though your personal experience and circumstances are one-of-a-kind, every mother is on a journey, too. And there's so much strength in opening up and finding your tribe (even though admittedly, it can take some time). So if you're able to reach out or put yourself out there socially at a mum meet-up, I promise you, it has the power to lift your soul and raise your spirits.

Remember, we are not supposed to do this alone. Women need women. Mums need other mums - to observe and learn from as much as to confide in and lean on. Call someone you love today and tell them how you're feeling, and see how they are. Connection breeds connection and starting is always the hardest part.

P.S. - If this feels too much right now, please do not put pressure on yourself. Take a leaf from your little one - baby steps! This free guide on the homepage can help build small action if you're just starting to prioritise yourself again.

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